Well the title wasn't exactly vague now was it?
Yes I am another year wiser, not older... just wiser...Ahem!
This has prompted me to wonder, Is this subconsciously the reason for my new blog ?
I'm coming up to the age when I am consumed with ensuring that my health, wealth and happiness are at the forefront of my mind and constantly held within it's focus. In truth we should all be consumed with this these goals at any age, after all what is there that could be more important in this short adventure we call life?
We all have the tendency (even if it's just inwardly), to take an inventory of where our life is at on these annual milestone dates, birthdays, anniversaries, (and January 1st of course.) And I'm sure that's a good thing but perhaps we should do this a little more often, monthly or weekly even.
If we could cultivate the required discipline (yes, I know nobody likes that word, myself included), maybe these are the things we should assess and measure at the end of each day, after all if you have a car, how often do you check that you have enough petrol or diesel in it?, can you imagine the effect of waiting until pre-determined date off in the dim and distant future to take stock of how much fuel was in your tank?
We all have the tendency to leave things unchecked and let things slip a little, because the stresses of modern life place seemingly endless obstacles in our path to take our focus away from doing all that we can do and being all that we can be.
Do you even know what it is that you want from life, and would you know if and when you had achieved it?
I sometimes think that upon birth we should be given a "map for life", the only downside to this is that it would be too generic, after all who wants to live the exact same life that countless billions that went before lived, doing nothing of real note, and not deviating one iota from the set formula for a "happy fulfilled life"
But at least we would know where we were at in relation to this epic journey.
So maybe the answer is to create our own "road map", setting out our eventual destination outlining the many "checkpoints" along the way, then we could assign a timescale to reach of these points so that we would know if we were making good time or spending a sizeable proportion of our journey stuck on the hard shoulder.
Health and wealth are reasonably easy to work towards because we have either numbers or physical capabilities to check against, but happiness, aah well that's an altogether different prospect isn't it?
How do you become happier, I am sure that we would all aspire to be happier if we believed that it was something that we had the control to create.
BUT WE DO!
Most people believe that happiness is determined by a random series of events that "just happen" to us at apparently random intervals, well maybe there is a modicum of truth in this because only the most unyielding "control freak" would believe that they had the ability to steer every single tiny event and happenstance in their lives and not bend to the fates, life and cause and effect.
But happiness is not and certainly should not be "random", because to admit that would be to climb bleary eyed from our bed each morning constantly wondering if maybe a little joy may track us down this day. No thank you...Not for me, I prefer a slightly more pro-active philosophy than that.
Might I suggest an easy and fum exercise...No REALLY it is easy and fun!
Keep a happiness diary, this would take seconds to do at the end of each day, simply note down the things that made you smile or laugh or gave a warm fuzzy feeling inside throughout the day, If you leave this till the end of the week or even the end of the month, (you habitual procrastinator you), then you will likely forget the small incidences that made you feel joyful last Thursday morning.
After only a few days of doing this, you will note that the small things are the ones that count with regard to your happiness, occasionally you will offer a wide beaming smile to a random stranger who holds open a door for you, or maybe somebody smiles at you in such a warm genuine way that the memory elicits much the same joy when revisited.
The things that struck a cord with me when I tried this are the small pleasures felt from such apparently trivial things as a painting drawn by one of your children, a compliment you were not expecting or a loving look from your partner. I'm telling you these things are gold, and we DO appreciate the minutia of life as it's happening, but forget so soon afterwards so recalling these blissful moments again at the end of each day is incredibly rewarding.
Even if you doubt this, please, please give it a go, C'mon, what have you got to lose ?...a few seconds at the end of each day for one lousy week of your life, and I truly believe that you will keep it up, because when life is at its most miserable, when we are suffering or feeling a bit "down" or even in a full blown depression, your happiness diary can give you an alternative perspective that can drag you through it and remind you of just what you have in your life.
You are probably not the sort of person who would USUALLY try this stuff, Its a bit errm... California for many people, but hey
So what!
If it works and I can categorically tell you that it does, then isn't it worth trying? Who wouldn't want a tap that you could turn on at will and fill your glass with happiness, (No that wasn't a metaphor for whiskey and gin, I'm still talking about the diary), So trust me and more importantly, trust YOU, and give yourself this gift.
An unexpected added benefit (I find), is that you begin seeing your loved ones, and people in general in a more positive, less critical light. This can do wonders for your relationships.
Next and you may think this sounds "happy clappy" and I can't help that, I can only tell ya this stuff as it is, I would be doing you a disservice by doing anything else and I wouldn't be true to myself either!
Give Thanks...
Now, I am a "stuffy Englishman" (O.K we will try and avoid the stereotypes), but am obviously very aware of the American holiday "thanksgiving".
Observed in the correct spirit this holiday can be incredibly liberating as it frees up that tendency that we have for listing all the absolutely terrible things that happen to us, reveling in ghoulish glee and listing in glorious technicolour detail just mow much bad luck we have and being amazingly self deprecating about our skills and talents and obstreperous with regards to our personal woes so that everybody for miles around knows that "we've got it so bad"...
Acknowledging what is good in our life and the world at large can defragment our "negative energy circuit", if it's not repelling bad energy the way it once did, when we were younger and more optimistic. Does this negativity taint our relationships?...
Well you know what they say, (whoever the hell they are!)
"Misery loves company"
So don't hang with a negative crowd, and if you do don't be surprised when you wind up embittered and miserable.
The very last thing I want to mention in regards to making happiness "happen" on demand, is your own personal physiology and body language.
I am here to tell you this...and it is MASSIVE,
When you feel down or miserable get yourself over to the mirror and do something that you may usually find mad or at the very least eccentric...
GIVE YOURSELF AN ENORMOUS WARM SMILE AND SAY
"I bloody love you"
This probably works best when you are alone as you don't really want your family thinking that you've "lost the plot", then again if they see it, you may set a very wonderful precedent, but I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable so early on.
Next, lift your shoulders and stride away from that mirror like the happiest guy or girl in the world.
THIS IS SO SIMPLE, BUT IT PAYS IMMEDIATE, MASSIVE, "TWICE YOUR MONEY BACK" RESULTS.
Are you really gonna be so stubborn as to not try this stuff because it sounds "a bit silly", if so, that is absolute craziness. You can teach yourself to be happy at will That is amazingly powerful!
I probably reacted to this in much the same way that many of you are right now believing that
"It won't work", "I'm too busy", "I haven't got time to play games"
EXCUSES, excuses, excuses...excuses for what?, to stay miserable just to prove a point?
Anyway time to get down from my soapbox, (AGAIN), and let you get on with your day. I hope that this day brings you many incidents of happiness and joy, and not necessarily of the "Receive a brand new Ferrari variety"
If you try any of these ideas that I suggest, then let me know the results, because I absolutely positively KNOW they can't feel to cultivate happiness in your life and would love to hear about it because you can bet that will make me feel happier.
Anyway folks I'm off to blow out 39 candles, (remember when I talked about upcoming milestones), before they create a scene akin to a forest fire.
Have an amazing day.
Steven ; )
Yes I am another year wiser, not older... just wiser...Ahem!
This has prompted me to wonder, Is this subconsciously the reason for my new blog ?
I'm coming up to the age when I am consumed with ensuring that my health, wealth and happiness are at the forefront of my mind and constantly held within it's focus. In truth we should all be consumed with this these goals at any age, after all what is there that could be more important in this short adventure we call life?
We all have the tendency (even if it's just inwardly), to take an inventory of where our life is at on these annual milestone dates, birthdays, anniversaries, (and January 1st of course.) And I'm sure that's a good thing but perhaps we should do this a little more often, monthly or weekly even.
If we could cultivate the required discipline (yes, I know nobody likes that word, myself included), maybe these are the things we should assess and measure at the end of each day, after all if you have a car, how often do you check that you have enough petrol or diesel in it?, can you imagine the effect of waiting until pre-determined date off in the dim and distant future to take stock of how much fuel was in your tank?
We all have the tendency to leave things unchecked and let things slip a little, because the stresses of modern life place seemingly endless obstacles in our path to take our focus away from doing all that we can do and being all that we can be.
Do you even know what it is that you want from life, and would you know if and when you had achieved it?
I sometimes think that upon birth we should be given a "map for life", the only downside to this is that it would be too generic, after all who wants to live the exact same life that countless billions that went before lived, doing nothing of real note, and not deviating one iota from the set formula for a "happy fulfilled life"
But at least we would know where we were at in relation to this epic journey.
So maybe the answer is to create our own "road map", setting out our eventual destination outlining the many "checkpoints" along the way, then we could assign a timescale to reach of these points so that we would know if we were making good time or spending a sizeable proportion of our journey stuck on the hard shoulder.
Health and wealth are reasonably easy to work towards because we have either numbers or physical capabilities to check against, but happiness, aah well that's an altogether different prospect isn't it?
How do you become happier, I am sure that we would all aspire to be happier if we believed that it was something that we had the control to create.
BUT WE DO!
Most people believe that happiness is determined by a random series of events that "just happen" to us at apparently random intervals, well maybe there is a modicum of truth in this because only the most unyielding "control freak" would believe that they had the ability to steer every single tiny event and happenstance in their lives and not bend to the fates, life and cause and effect.
But happiness is not and certainly should not be "random", because to admit that would be to climb bleary eyed from our bed each morning constantly wondering if maybe a little joy may track us down this day. No thank you...Not for me, I prefer a slightly more pro-active philosophy than that.
Might I suggest an easy and fum exercise...No REALLY it is easy and fun!
Keep a happiness diary, this would take seconds to do at the end of each day, simply note down the things that made you smile or laugh or gave a warm fuzzy feeling inside throughout the day, If you leave this till the end of the week or even the end of the month, (you habitual procrastinator you), then you will likely forget the small incidences that made you feel joyful last Thursday morning.
After only a few days of doing this, you will note that the small things are the ones that count with regard to your happiness, occasionally you will offer a wide beaming smile to a random stranger who holds open a door for you, or maybe somebody smiles at you in such a warm genuine way that the memory elicits much the same joy when revisited.
The things that struck a cord with me when I tried this are the small pleasures felt from such apparently trivial things as a painting drawn by one of your children, a compliment you were not expecting or a loving look from your partner. I'm telling you these things are gold, and we DO appreciate the minutia of life as it's happening, but forget so soon afterwards so recalling these blissful moments again at the end of each day is incredibly rewarding.
Even if you doubt this, please, please give it a go, C'mon, what have you got to lose ?...a few seconds at the end of each day for one lousy week of your life, and I truly believe that you will keep it up, because when life is at its most miserable, when we are suffering or feeling a bit "down" or even in a full blown depression, your happiness diary can give you an alternative perspective that can drag you through it and remind you of just what you have in your life.
You are probably not the sort of person who would USUALLY try this stuff, Its a bit errm... California for many people, but hey
So what!
If it works and I can categorically tell you that it does, then isn't it worth trying? Who wouldn't want a tap that you could turn on at will and fill your glass with happiness, (No that wasn't a metaphor for whiskey and gin, I'm still talking about the diary), So trust me and more importantly, trust YOU, and give yourself this gift.
An unexpected added benefit (I find), is that you begin seeing your loved ones, and people in general in a more positive, less critical light. This can do wonders for your relationships.
Next and you may think this sounds "happy clappy" and I can't help that, I can only tell ya this stuff as it is, I would be doing you a disservice by doing anything else and I wouldn't be true to myself either!
Give Thanks...
Now, I am a "stuffy Englishman" (O.K we will try and avoid the stereotypes), but am obviously very aware of the American holiday "thanksgiving".
Observed in the correct spirit this holiday can be incredibly liberating as it frees up that tendency that we have for listing all the absolutely terrible things that happen to us, reveling in ghoulish glee and listing in glorious technicolour detail just mow much bad luck we have and being amazingly self deprecating about our skills and talents and obstreperous with regards to our personal woes so that everybody for miles around knows that "we've got it so bad"...
Acknowledging what is good in our life and the world at large can defragment our "negative energy circuit", if it's not repelling bad energy the way it once did, when we were younger and more optimistic. Does this negativity taint our relationships?...
Well you know what they say, (whoever the hell they are!)
"Misery loves company"
So don't hang with a negative crowd, and if you do don't be surprised when you wind up embittered and miserable.
The very last thing I want to mention in regards to making happiness "happen" on demand, is your own personal physiology and body language.
- How do you stand or carry yourself when you feel depressed or sad?
- How does somebody who is grief stricken appear?
- What about somebody who is happy, excited, vibrant?
- how does a proud person hold their head and confidently stride, compared to the hunched shouldered sagged body look of a person with no self esteem
I am here to tell you this...and it is MASSIVE,
When you feel down or miserable get yourself over to the mirror and do something that you may usually find mad or at the very least eccentric...
GIVE YOURSELF AN ENORMOUS WARM SMILE AND SAY
"I bloody love you"
This probably works best when you are alone as you don't really want your family thinking that you've "lost the plot", then again if they see it, you may set a very wonderful precedent, but I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable so early on.
Next, lift your shoulders and stride away from that mirror like the happiest guy or girl in the world.
THIS IS SO SIMPLE, BUT IT PAYS IMMEDIATE, MASSIVE, "TWICE YOUR MONEY BACK" RESULTS.
Are you really gonna be so stubborn as to not try this stuff because it sounds "a bit silly", if so, that is absolute craziness. You can teach yourself to be happy at will That is amazingly powerful!
I probably reacted to this in much the same way that many of you are right now believing that
"It won't work", "I'm too busy", "I haven't got time to play games"
EXCUSES, excuses, excuses...excuses for what?, to stay miserable just to prove a point?
Anyway time to get down from my soapbox, (AGAIN), and let you get on with your day. I hope that this day brings you many incidents of happiness and joy, and not necessarily of the "Receive a brand new Ferrari variety"
If you try any of these ideas that I suggest, then let me know the results, because I absolutely positively KNOW they can't feel to cultivate happiness in your life and would love to hear about it because you can bet that will make me feel happier.
Anyway folks I'm off to blow out 39 candles, (remember when I talked about upcoming milestones), before they create a scene akin to a forest fire.
Have an amazing day.
Steven ; )
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